So the Salford lot then. Well statistically this is their worst start to a league season since 1989-90. They muddled their way through on the opening weekend beating Fulham 1-0 at home. This was followed by a brace of defeats on the road, going down 2-1at Brighton and 3-0 at Liverpool.

Some relief came – as I suspect it will for many this season – with a 3-0 win at Southampton. There followed a three-game winless run with goalless draws at Palace and Villa sandwiching an abject home performance against Spurs to whom they lost 3-0.

They did pick up three points at home, beating Brentford 2-1, the win being attributed to a sense of injustice gained as a result of a PGMOL official having the temerity to actually do his job properly at Old Trafford for once, insisting that a blood spattered defender be sent away to receive treatment as the laws of the game require.

It speaks volumes that this was perceived as somehow being wrong, so used are they to having officials turn a blind eye to anything that might aid the opposition at Old Trafford. No doubt PGMOL have sent a note of apology and promised that it won’t happen again. All of this has left them in 12th place with 11 points from 8 matches, a total of three points and places above us.

They brought in seven new players for Daisy to research, though frankly such has been their impact this season I’d forgotten their names a soon as I ‘d finished typing them. Typical of these was their first signing Joshua Zirkee. He cost them £36.5m from Bologna and was signed on the back of him scoring 13 goals in 53 Serie A appearances, which however you look at it is form far from likely to appear when you type the word “scintillating” into a search engine. The striker, who has eight Dutch Caps, scored the winner against Fulham on the opening day but has failed to burden the statisticians since then.

They shelled out £52m for defender Leny Yoro. Now yes, he was Young Player of the Year across the channel with Lille but that still seems a bit steep for a defender who has yet to make his full international debut. Particularly when the fee comes with a further £7m of add-ons to consider. He has yet to make his debut in any competition having picked up an ankle injury.

They then staged a twin raid on Bayern Munich to bring in defenders Matthijs De Ligt and Noussair Mazraoui. De Ligt, who came through the Ajax youth system before spells with Juventus and in Bavaria, was the subject of the “those laws don’t apply to us” faux outrage up at Old Trafford last weekend, requiring treatment after a clash produced a lot of claret spillage on his part.

I will admit that this was one of their signings of whom I had previously heard – he is well established on the Netherlands international scene with 48 caps to his name and is a previous winner of one of those European Young Player of the Year awards of which continental serious sports newspapers are quite fond, though when Daisy went to do some research on Tuttosport’s “Golden Boy” award she seemed reluctant to go into go into detail and seemed very keen to delete her internet search history.

Whilst De Ligt was valued at around £38m in the deal Mazraouri’s fee remained undisclosed, though as ever, everyone seems to know that it was £12m with more in add-ons to come.

I always get a little concerned for players and their health whenever I read things like Daisy’s main note for Mazaroui which reads “recently underwent a minor procedure to deal with heart palpitations”. Now I am sure that all concerned know exactly what they are doing and the player is more than fine to continue his playing career without a care in the world. However I can’t but help recall the sight of those Danish players shielding Christian Eriksen from sight as the medics battled to save his life. Yeah I know I’m just an old worrier. Anyway the way we played last week is unlikely to cause much of an issue to defenders with the dodgiest of tickers I guess.

Malian U17 international Kone came in for a reported £1m. Not much to say about an 18 year-old clearly not intended for the 1st XI just yet other than to say that the work permit discussions must have been interesting.

The final arrival was Manuel Ugarte. The Uruguayan midfielder and Vic Reeves catchphrase fetched £42m for his transfer from PSG. He featured largely as a sub for the Parisians last season having been told that his style of play didn’t fit with coach Luis Enrique’s style, which involved finding different ways to spend a lot of Arabic petrodollars without winning anything outside France to those that had previously been utilised for the task. His departure in the summer was therefore not much of a surprise.

They have a number of injuries to contend with. Mainoo’s thigh will keep him out for a few more weeks. Harry Maguire’s calf will also see him sit this one out. Much as Nat Lofthouse was known as “The Lion Of Vienna”, following his ill-advised ear-cupping goal celebration in England colours against one of Europe’s minnows, Maguire will always be known as “The Scourge Of San Marino” in these parts.